Stories For Life 2021

Stories are narratives of series of related events which can either be imaginary or factual. They’re told or read to pick moral lessons that inspire our lives. Here are few short but very inspirational stories that can shape your life!

1. BE A LAKE

One day, a master instructed his unhappy apprentice to scoop a handful of salt in a glass of water and then taste it. Immediately he tasted, he spat, and the master asked how it tasted; he replied by saying “Awful”. Again, the master asked him to fetch the same amount of salt and put it in a lake and taste from the lake; he did, but he gave a suitable remark this time around.

He told his master he didn’t taste the salt. The master then sat beside the troubled apprentice and said, “the pain in life is like pure salt; neither a big pain nor small pain. Which means the amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. But the amount we taste in the “pain” depends on the container we put into.

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Moral Lesson: When you’re in pain, the only thing you can do is enlarge your senses. Don’t let the pain eat you up! Stop being a glass, be a lake! Do something that will take your mind off the pain.

 

Stories For Life 2021

 

2. BURNING DESIRE IS THE SECRET TO SUCCESS

Socrates met a young man who kept asking him about the secret to success at a riverside. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him in the river. As they were getting deeper, the river reached their neck. Surprisingly, Socrates carried the man and dunked him into the water.

The guy struggled and wanted to free himself, but Socrates was strong enough to keep him there until he found out the guy was turning blue, then he pulled him out. The first thing the guy did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Then Socrates asked what he needed most when he was kept in the water, and the guy said “Air”. Socrates said, “that is the secret of success. When you want success as badly as you want air, then you will get it”. 

Moral Lesson: 

The starting point of every achievement is having a burning desire. This is because a weak desire cannot yield success. 

3. BLACK OR WHITE

 Two guys were engaged in an argument in class, and both of them were convinced they were right but accused each other of being wrong. So, their teacher decided to teach them a very important lesson. The teacher placed her desk in front of the class and placed each at both ends of the desk. She then put an object in the middle of the desk, which had different colors on each side.

Basically, each of them would just see the color facing them. One side was black, and the other was white. The teacher asked each of them the color they see, and the guys could only describe just the colors from each viewpoint. 

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Moral Lesson: Sometimes, we need to look at the problem from the other person’s view in order to truly understand his/ her perspective

4. DON’T JUDGE PEOPLE BEFORE YOU TRULY KNOW THEM

A 24-year-old boy seeing out of a train’s window, shouted…

 “Dad, look, the trees are going behind” the father smiled. 

A young couple sitting nearby looked at the 24-year old’s childish behavior with pity. Suddenly, the son exclaimed again.

“Dad, look, the clouds are running with us!” the couple who couldn’t resist said to the man. “why don’t you take your son to a doctor?” the man replied with a smile and told them they were just coming from the hospital; his son was blind from birth and had just got his eyes.

Moral Lesson: every single person on this earth has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them.

5. LEARN FROM MISTAKES

Thomas Edison tried two thousand different materials in search of a filament for the light bulb. When none worked as they expected, his assistant complained, “all our work is in vain. We have learned nothing”.

Thomas replied very confidently, “at least we now know that two thousand elements cannot be used to make a good light bulb”

Moral Lesson: In life, mistakes are bound to happen but never look down on your mistakes. Learn from your mistakes!

 

BY TO NIGHTER

If you hate being single, romance novels and movies can leave you lusting after the desire for companionship. Love songs trigger thoughts of past romances and smooching couples make you quiver with jealousy. Being single, depending on how you view it, can be a miserable space to be in, but it doesn’t have to be.

In fact, being miserably single can cause you to chase potential mates away because you’re giving off negative energy. Consider the phenomenon that occurs when you find yourself in a committed relationship and suddenly, you’re getting more attention than you’ve ever had, mostly due to your glowing smile and self confidence. That essence is what makes you truly attractive and it shouldn’t go away just because you’re single.

It is important that you remain positive, open and active while you’re single so that you send the message that you’re not only available, you’re an absolute catch. Here are five ways you can learn to be happily single.

How To Be Happily Single 2021

1. Find Fun Solo Things To Do

If you’re a social butterfly, the idea of doing anything alone can sound boring, (if not complete torture) but a little alone time can be a great time for self reflection which can lead to a better you. Make alone time fun by filling that space with things you love to do. Whether that’s pampering yourself with a massage or getting a pedicure, watching a marathon of your favorite show while stuffing yourself with your favorite ice-cream or singing loudly to your favorite song while in your underwear. Stay away from activities that usually requires more than one person so that you never feel that void.

2. Hangout With Other Single People

Hanging around lovey-dovey couples can exacerbate your sense of loneliness and even cause you to feel like a failure. In anything you do, you should always align yourself with people and things that will uplift and energize you.

When you’re single, you should do ‘single people things’, which can span from clubbing to awesome road trips. Being single is an opportunity to do all kinds of crazy and fun things without the burden of having to check in with a partner, so use this time to carpe diem and experience life.

3. Date For Fun

Dating doesn’t have to be the chore it can become if you’re searching for a serious mate. Meeting new people can be fun, especially when you have no expectations. Keep these dates short and simple by meeting at a coffee shop or doing an activity. Be upfront with your desire to keep things light and feel free to be your unadulterated self.

If anything springs from any of those experiences it will be a bonus, but use this opportunity to rid yourself of self-doubt and insecurities that usually comes with meeting new people.

4. Learn How to Let Go

What has happened in the past is the past. Experiences, good or bad, should be used as your navigation through life. Depending on how your last relationship ended, you may be feeling guilty, resentful or even angry. Either way, those negative feelings can keep you from truly moving on. It also means carrying that same baggage to your next relationship which can affect your chances of success.

Letting go is easy if you understand that everything that happens is an opportunity for learning and doing better in the future. Allow yourself to look at things objectively, see what you could have done differently and improve on. Most importantly, focus on the positives rather than all the negatives. A half glass full mentality will keep you uplifted and motivated.

5. Find Your Life’s Passion

Being single shouldn’t be the end of your life as you know it. Placing so much stock on someone else for your own happiness is a sign that you lack a sense of personal purpose. You should have your own raison d’être for waking up every morning. Have a vision for your life and how you can add value to the lives of others.

What are you good at? What would you like to do if you had nothing stopping you? Use your time as a single person to find out what makes time stop and lights you up from the inside out.Then go out and do it!

Life is truly what you make it and the same can be said for love and relationships. Finding inner happiness is a quality that will help you live your best life with or without someone and helps make you a more attractive version of yourself in the long run.

Source: Tonighter

Do you tell a girlfriend when her husband is cheating on her and why?

What would you do if your BFF’s husband is responsible for one of your friend’s pregnancy?

It is difficult enough to tell a friend when you see her husband/boyfriend/partner walking hand-in-hand with another women, therefore breaking such heartbreaking news to anyone would not be easy. But is it right or wrong to let your best friend know that her husband has been sleeping around?

Is it right or wrong to tell your BFF her husband is responsible for one of your friend’s pregnancy?

 

Why Do People Cheat: What Are Men And Women looking For…

 

  • Men want interaction, Playmates, Sexual Fulfilment
  • Hanging out with the buddies. Know about his sports etc. 
  • Men want closure (No Loose Ends, Attractive Partners, Domestic Support (Peace & Quiet)

 

As a rule, while men enjoy some conversation, they also want closure. A topic that achieves no resolution is frustrating.

Men are interested in a woman’s feelings, but we are also interested in other things. If your feelings become the central focus of every conversation, do they lack closure, we are now you’re throwing out “fun” interaction and thoughts start to drift toward hanging out with the guys.

The closure issue works well when a lady asks a question that leads to an answer, and it is even better when that answer results in action that solves a problem.

Together you share the “feeling of a job well done”, the team won. This is the guy version of a happy ending. What Men Really Love About Women’s Bodies? Confidence! 

Read Also: Relationship Goals 

  • Men want confirmation (Admiration)

 

No one wants to be unnecessary, so it follows that it feels good to be needed. Uniqueness. Don’t be too subtle, they aren’t that bright!

One of the reasons “games” are so destructive to relationships is they generally send mixed signals, making it difficult to get confirmation.

Perhaps you’ve been told it’s best to keep the man guessing. Perhaps, but the men I know would rather spend time with someone who definitely appreciates them. 

  • Women want to be safe physically and emotionally, (Honesty and Openness, Conversation, Adoration)

 

You can offer to pick her up, but back off quickly if she still prefers two cars. A woman feels safer physically and emotionally in her own car. Don’t go overboard with expense.

May wonder exactly what you expect for your investment. Emotional security also means: Women want to move slowly to build trust, it takes a while.

Men and women have different time frames for developing serious relationships. She doesn’t want to hear that you are her soul mate or true love so soon that she has to wonder what you are really seeking.

Women also feel that a man who will fall in love with her so quickly might fall out of love just as quickly. Women don’t want to be trapped, that means short date, advance notice (3-7 days is respectful). Calling her 2 minutes before is not kosher… 

  • Women are more interested in the present, cooperating, not competing (Conversation, Tower of Strength, financial and family support)

 

Past and future glories are not as interesting to women as the here and now. She doesn’t care if you used to be the be the Shah of Bahrain, what matters is NOW.

  • Conversational Blunders include:

 

Past relationships or excessive questions about each others past loves.

Talk about your work and career, children or their children or your pets, about your problems with IRS or your boss or your sister, on about you, interrupting each other, or never asking questions about each other.

“Sorry I’ve been talking about myself all night, why don’t you take a turn, so tell me what do you think of me?”

Source: Tonighter

 

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On the dating scene, singles have always taken subtle cues from the messages fed to them in mass media.

From fashion to music and beyond, the cues on when the mating dance ends and the uninhibited sex begins is subtly reinforced by what we see in every day life.

 

In their prime years in the dating game, every single believes it’s their right and youthful duty to test-drive all the models and  supermodels they can get their hands on.

 

 

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It may, however, be smarter and ultimately more satisfying to chill and wait before letting that key slide in and going for that naked, sweaty spin around the block.

Would you pay big money to go to a strip club where the fantastic plastic enhanced exotic dancer struts out from behind the velvet curtain and onto the runway already in their birthday suit?

No,  the tease is supposed to last a while, long enough for your exotic dancer to gyrate and do their thing in everyone’s face before finally shedding their outfit completely because the payoff at the end is worth it.

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The same applies in your private life; waiting is a single’s easiest way to accomplish foreplay without even trying.

If a partner is given the chance to know you better, they’ll probably view you less as a grope-a-dope they met in a bar or club and more like a real person who they can chill out with after the shag is bagged.

 

 

The time to copulation in modern relationships has dropped significantly since our parent’s generation, but if you make it all about sex early on, when the thrill wears off, so will your partner’s enthusiasm for hanging with you…

By Tonighter

Sweaty palms, food in your teeth, and nervous babbling are just some of the many faux pas to avoid while on a first date. With so much pressure put on first impressions, what to wear should not be one of them.

To help you get dressed for what could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship or a dating dud (no body ever knows for sure), it’s worth taking a cue from the best dressed in Tinsel Town. How better to impress your date than by shining like the star you are!

 

Subtle and alluring look

Subtle and alluring

Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys is a pro at taking bohemian chic to the streets. Half poet and half Fly-Girl, Alicia has a subtle, alluring style that has gotten her plenty of attention on the red carpet. To get her look, think exotic treasures. Start by tying a brightly printed silk scarf around your head, or if your really brave, don a floppy hat by Zanadu. Add East Indian-inspired chandelier earrings and plenty of bamboo bangles for your wrists.

 

Alicia wears a lot of tight bodices to show off her hourglass figure, but always in a tasteful way. Channel some of her allure by putting a black silk bustier over a fitted button up shirt leaving the top buttons undone. Layer multiple beaded necklaces and let them drape into your cleavage for a hint of what’s to come.

 

Super-girly

Super-girly look

Sarah Jessica Parker

With an image forever linked to the stylish Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica has become a style icon. She can be credited for bringing Chanel’s ‘50’s cocktail dress back en vogue as well as enflaming all women’s shoe fetish by making a habit of hobbling around in four-inch heels.

But before you don a pouf skirt and Manolo Blahniks, assess whether your guy is ready for a high fashion date. The clothing you wear communicates many subtle messages, and looking high maintenance or intimidating is not the message you want to send. Keep this super stylish look toned down by wearing some Steve Madden ballet flats instead of heels and forgoing distracting flower pins.

 

The girl next door

The girl next door look

 

Rene Zellweger

From Jerry McGuire to Bridgette Jones’ Diary, Rene Zelweger is one of America’s favorite girls next door. Her fresh, classic style has just a hint of Old Hollywood glamour mixed with hometown innocence that is irresistible to men and flattering to her figure—and yours! To get her look, try a super-fitted cashmere sweater set with a pencil skirt or a classic satin cocktail dress with a sweetheart neckline a la Carolina Herrera. Add some round-toed heels for a little hint of naughty!

 

Down to earth

Down to earth look

 

Cameron Diaz

A true beauty in every sense of the word, Cameron has a down to earth style that drives guys wild, including crooner Justin Timberlake. Although she looks stunning in a red carpet gown, no one does a t-shirt and jeans with more pinash. Go Cameron casual with a cool pair of Evisu jeans, beach-ready flip-flops and a fitted tee or layered tank tops. Add a few funky accessories like a long knitted scarf or one-of–a-kind bracelets to keep the look feminine.

 

Fun-loving

Colin Farrell

Aye, it has to be the Luck of the Irish that makes Collin Farrell absolutely delectable. Even donned in a skirt for his role in Alexander, this Dubliner turned LA hottie oozes sensuality. Whether at a photo op or in a pub, his scruffy style doesn’t change much, so it’s easy to emulate: First, don’t comb your hair for a while and let it stick up as it may. Don’t shave for a couple of days—oh hell, even a week. Leave the t-shirt on that you slept in and add a Carhart workman’s jacket if its chilly. Then throw on an old pair of jeans (if you don’t have any jeans that look old, get a pair of dirty-washed from Energie.) and step into an old pair of leather cowboy boots a la John Wayne. Add a sheepish grin and you’re off to meet the ladies.

 

Smooth like butta

Brad Pitt

To be a smooth operator like Brad Pitt, you don’t have to go as far as a sharkskin suit sans Oceans 11, but you can capture the essence of innate sexiness in a tailored leather jacket layered over a tight t-shirt or button-up. Just make sure to leave the top couple of buttons undone on that shirt…. The ladies love Brad because he looks good without looking like he tries too hard. Add Brad’s Gucci Aviator 230 Sunglasses, but make sure to take them off at some time so you can gaze into your dates eyes.

 

The hipster

Andre 3000

Outkast’s more outlandish half has the style every man wishes he could pull off without looking like a clown. To master Andre’s hip, preppy look, think private school and Prince Charles mixed with a little Hotlanta. Layer a Kelly Green Hermes jacket over a white button up shirt and Scottish plaid tie. Slip into some dark denim jeans by Jil Sander and add a colorful woven belt. Finish the look with some retro converse tennis shoes, a newsboy cap and a healthy dose of confidence. If your date isn’t impressed, say Sorry Miss Jackson and move on.

The bad boy

Lenny Kravitz

How can someone wearing Grandma’s table cloth look so hot? To get Lenny’s bad-ass look, you will need to raid your mother’s closet for some key pieces. After procuring a knitted scarf, a broach or a trench reminiscent of the Technicolor Dream Coat, strip down to your low-rise jeans like to ones at Men’s Express. (Lenny always wears them super tight, so don’t you dare go baggy.) If you must wear a shirt, slip on a button up with a butterfly collar, preferably ‘70’s vintage. Leave it unbuttoned and start accessorizing. Tie the scarf around your neck and secure with the broach, add some outlandish shades and flip-flops and voi-la! Rocker style that will make your date start looking for the paparazzi!

By Tonighter

African Celebrities

Do Looks Matter? How Do You Define Beauty:  Looks are what others perceive as beautiful or attractive, like art is something that people like to look at, they get positive…

Studies show that good-looking people earn more in the work place as well enjoy more friends and sexual partners.

 

Society assumes that what is beautiful is good. Check out some of the African Celebrities that the society is obsessed with their looks, from their talents, Boobs, hips, height, Hair, talent and more.

There are universally agreed upon attributes that humans in general find attractive, but for the most part the culture, time period that you live in dictates the level of attractiveness.

It is a scientifically proven fact that men place higher premium on appearance than women.

This is a result of what millions of years of evolution has taught them – men have not evolved much since the cavemen.

When it comes to attraction, their inner “metal detectors” still look for the same cues that evolutions says are beneficial to survival of their genes,

fertility which is indicated by the attributes of youth such as full lips, radiant hair, smooth skin, clear eyes, muscle tone, firm ample bosoms, breast size, hips, facial and body symmetry, and good waist to hip ratio.

Some of the ideal attractive beauty with brains described above in no particular order:

Ghanaian TV presenter, Producer and actress Joselyn Dumas

 

Ghanaian TV presenter, Producer and actress Joselyn Dumas

 

Award winning Ghanaian actress Jackie Appiah

 

Award winning Ghanaian actress Jackie Appiah

 

Ghanaian actress Martha Ankomah

These attributes are also what accentuate the differences between men and women, the more pronounced the difference the bigger the attraction, men are less attracted to ‘boyish’ women and more attracted to dainty feminine women, damsel in distress…

 

Having worked with several dating services, one of my findings is that younger men prefer women who are their age or a few years younger, as men get older; especially past the age of forty they desire larger age gaps from their mates; perhaps their way of hanging on to their own youth.

How Do You Define Beauty

Men are hierarchica, and for many the only factor that overrides evolution is someone who validates their alpha male status, and the greatest evidence of a man’s social worth is a woman that is considered beautiful by the standards of the society that he lives in.

The more secure a man is the less he cares about what others think of his choice of a mate, he’s able to create his own ideal…

african celebs

Our society in general unconsciously attributes many positive traits to good looking people. Many studies have found that people assume that good looking people are more honest, intelligent and happy.

Looking good works for both the dating scene and life in general, studies show that good looking people are often looked upon favourably in employment and earn more than their less attractive counterparts.

 

The great news is that many of the universal traits of beauty are attainable by every human being – some have it naturally others have to work a little bit harder at it. Healthy looking skin is universally associated with attractiveness in both men and women.

Since women place more emphasis on men’s status and ability to provide and access resources that will ensure their survival, it is no surprise that the features that women find attractive in men are those that indicate protection, status and strength.

Most cultures perceive men with broad shoulders, arrow waists and nice chests as being attractive.

Taller men are considered attractive; an erect posture communicates confidence, status and strength. It is also believed that taller men tend to have high levels of testosterone.

Taller men are considered attractive; an erect posture communicates confidence, status and strength.

 

Men with strong broad jaws and brows are also considered attractive…

Most cultures consider slender women attractive, there are so many attractive size 10 or 12  women who think they need to lose weight, when in fact most men do not consider women of this size as equally attractive.

Just as many men do not find over obese women attractive they do not find anorexic ones attractive either – being a healthy weight that is proportionate to your height is prescription for success in attracting the right one.

It doesn’t matter what size you are, if you look like the Tasmanian devil it’s hard to find a long line of suitors….

Most women want to be wanted and appreciated for their internal riches, and unfortunately men have no interest in learning of those internal riches if they can not get past the external, you can accept this as reality and a fact of life or you can choose to do nothing to be your best and live in the delusion that it’s what’s on the inside that matters –

Perception of beauty is different in different parts of the world…Some prefer all natural beauty, others prefer plastic surgeries enhance beauty. We say whatever tickles your fancy!

African celebs - African couple in love

There is no one standard of beauty, so being your best is going to attract the right one….

Remember attraction is about instinct not intellect, so no particular Waist to hip ratio or Body Mass Index is fixed, but having clean skin that is free of gunk is within your control. 

Perception of beauty is different in different parts of the world. Some societies, (especially in Africa) define a woman’s beauty by how curvaceous they are, the size of their boobs, hips, hair, skin colour, face first even before their talent.

Africa has so many beauty with brains, diverse people, diverse beauty, diverse talent, from actors, models, Filmmaker & Entrepreneur

Unapologetically beautiful award-winning Ghanaian actress Lydia Forson, is not only known for her bright and bubbly personality, but also her hair beautiful natural hair. Lydia Forson shares some of her natural hair tips on her social media handles

 

 

Nollywood Superstar, Filmmaker & Entrepreneur Stephanie Linus, is one of the most beautiful tall actresses and has also been voted as having the hottest legs in Nollywood movie industry

 

 

 

Stunning and gorgeous Film Producer, Actress and Entrepreneur Yvonne Nelson is one of the tallest Ghanaian actresses with the hottest legs as well.

 

People can’t keep calm about Gambian Ghana Based Popular Actress Princess Shyngle’ tiny waist

 

 

 

Take Curvaceous Moesha Boduong of Ghana for instance people are ‘obsessed’ with her looks especially her hips.

 

Curvaceous Moesha Boduong of Ghana – actress and a photo model
Curvaceous Moesha Boduong of Ghana – actress and a photo model

Even though Pamela is a model and video vixen, Ghanaians can’t stop talking about Pamela Odame Watara’s boobs. 

 

While most models are tall, men prefer women who are shorter than them, studies across multiple cultures show that women prefer men who are taller than them and men prefer women who are shorter than them…

Tall men like:

 

Ghanaian Actor and Entrepreneur John Dumelo

 

Ghanaian Actor James Gardiner

Overall, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder…

No one goes to the grocery store and says “emm let me find the most bruised up, rotten melons in here and pay premium price for it” Truth is while you’re on the market, you have to keep the produce super fresh…

Your outer appearance is a direct measure of how happy you are in life, it communicates a lot – self esteem, openness, confidence, insecurities, personal shames, sexual desires, and much more.

 

What is your perception of beauty?

 

By Tonighter

Photo Credit: Jackie Appiah/Joselyn Dumas/Stephanie Linus/James Gardiner/John Dumelo/Yvonne Nelson/Lydia Forson/ Martha Ankomah/Princess Shyngle/Moesha Boduong/Pamela Odame Watara

MAKING YOURSELF THE PRIZE

Chemistry and attraction originates from four areas-Physical (Sexual Chemistry), Emotional (Commitment Bonds), Mental (Admiration and Adoration) and Spiritual. Once you are aware of your substance, style and spirit you can properly communicate who you are to others.

Whatever goes on inside of you is projected on the outside. When you are well balanced in all areas of your life you radiate confidence. You become irresistible to others, because you evoke in them joyful thoughts and feelings.

Attraction the chemical feedback to characteristics that we desire in another person.

Physical: Does size matter in a relationship?

Let’s face it, people who are in great shape and look good, have no problems finding dates, they however have problems finding a mate. Outer beauty is the easiest to recognise, it answers many questions even before they are posed. Not looking your best, carrying an unhealthy amount of weight and body fat causes your presence to prop up questions rather than answer them.

 

 

Both men and women find the traits that guarantee survival beautiful. For men it translates to youth and health, so as long as we live this will be a deciding factor. Signs of health and youth are indicated by nice clean teeth, clear skin and eyes, symmetrical features, curves in women and strong shoulders in men.

The error that most women make is to assume that they have to be pencil thin to find a good man, this is the furthest from the truth. You have to be healthy and feel good about your self. There is absolutely no proof that a woman who is a size 0, will marry before someone who is a size 14.

Survey after survey men indicate that they have absolutely no preference when it comes to confident women of all sizes. Most heavyset women unfortunately are not confident about themselves. If you constantly apologize for your size, then you are not confident. That’s your conscience telling you that you need to do something about your health.

People will live up to our expectations and treat you accordingly. If your presence doesn’t give you warm fuzzies then you’ll project the discomfort that you’re feeling inside on the outside. Yourself if you are healthy? Ask yourself if you are happy and comfortable with your weight?

If you have problems answering the question then perhaps you should do something about it.  From my experience no rational man walks into a service and asks for an obese woman, that’s just the way it is.

There are many reasons why people keep excess weight on; the same issues will make appearances in your relationship. That doesn’t mean that you’ll never get a date, it just means that you’ll cut down on your potential suitors. You are only looking for one person, so if you’re comfortable with being unhealthy and overweight then becomes aware of the risks involved.

Women are increasingly requiring that men be in shape as well. Today women can provide for themselves so financial security is not the only prerequisite. Women look for a protector, a tower of strength and confidence.

I’m yet to hear a woman ask for a rich man with a potbelly and a shinny bald spot. The aim here is to look your best, it tells others that you love yourself. If you don’t take a chance on you, why should anyone else?

 

Exorcise your emotional vampires, get rid off those suckers.

Everybody’s got baggage, some more than others! You know some people didn’t get their hugs as kids and they’re still carrying that hurt around. Others have past trust issues that they are waiting to project on someone else.

We’re all damaged goods in one way or another. We’ve all been bruised, hurt or rejected at one point or another. “Slammed by a bad boss, tough parents, bad breakup, personal disappointments or whatever. But how much of that are you still carrying with you? How big is your luggage?

Know thyself look into the mirror and see what the rest of the worlds sees. Be honest about who you are, if you don’t do it for moral reasons at least do it for selfishness, you will always be rewarded for being honest. 

How you present yourself to the world determines if you are successful or if you find a permanent home on the sidelines of life. That’s not to say that you should put up fronts or play games. If you are not real with yourself, you’re fooling no one but yourself.

Eventually you’ll be found out. It’s like an elephant in the room when the lights come on—there’s no hiding. The best way to get hurt is to misrepresent yourself just to get someone to sleep with you or marry you. You have to be aware of what has prevented you from finding the relationship that you want in life. 

 

In order to start dating you have to answer the following questions honestly.

 

 

ARE THERE EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES THAT ARE SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF MY LOVE LIFE?

People often complain about bad relationships that they’ve had, different players but the same script. They seem to forget that the only thing that all the bad relationships have is common is themselves. The reason your last relationship didn’t work is you made choices that led up to the failure, whether it was a bad choice of mate or specific actions, you need to own up to that responsibility.

Take an inventory of the decisions that led up to the breakup or the drought, so that you can change or flip the script in a positive direction, because wherever you go there you are. If the script is the same you will have the same outcome. Avoid unnecessary arguments. 

 

 

The biggest complaint women have is “All men are dogs” If you go into any relationship with a hostile attitude you will terrorize yourself and your despised one. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and soon every man that you meet will treat you like dog pop. Next time you want to say I hate men, say instead I am afraid of trusting.

 

HAVE I FORGIVEN THE PAST, AND DO I HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO RISK REJECTION?

Throughout our lives we are bombarded with millions of information per second, our minds alter, erase and generalize the information based on our past emotions and experiences to a handful of information and create our reality. The rest of the details is stored in our subconscious memory for later access. If we have unresolved negative emotions our interpretations of the world becomes twisted.

Most men would rather die than take a chance at getting rejected by a potential mate. When fear sets in you no longer think about the other person but yourself. You have no control over how people will respond to you, however you control how you react to how others treat you. When you refuse to act because of fear you are thinking about the consequence of your potential act. You have made yourself the judge, jury and victim. Ask yourself which of the following outcomes are you likely to experience by dating or being in a relationship with someone else. Will it cause you?

  1. A loss of income/livelihood
  2. Criticism/Persecution
  3. Bad health
  4. Old Age
  5. Loss of Love
  6. Death

If you are in danger of any of the following by being with someone, then you have cause to be fearful. Otherwise you need to evaluate the fears that are keeping you away from approaching your potential mate, and find a way to deal with them appropriately.

 

Many singles fear that:

No one could possibly love them, as they are-so they put on charades and acts thinking it will make them easier to deal with. Since birth we are compared, criticized and made to feel inadequate and insufficient by the media, family, friends, neighbors, teachers and basically anyone that we come in contact with. Jokes and negative comments that others make about us keeps repeating like broken records in our minds leading to delusional, deprecating believes about who we are and who we ought to be.

A lot of people get stuck when they look at the amount of work that they need to do in order to be their desired selves. They then cling on to that last positive or negative experience that they had as an excuse to do nothing about their circumstance. Become aware of where you got stuck or turned a corner.

How did you come to hold the current believes about yourself?

Was it something that someone said in high school, college, at work?

Was it something that your parents said?

Was it something that someone did?

If you could go back to any age, what age would you’d go back to and why?

What are your best memories of your parents?

What are your worst memories about your parents?

AIMS!

 

Deal with the list of issues that have lead you to where you are today. Separate the myths from the truths. Work on walking towards the person that you want to be and unfathomable confidence will ensue. In the game of life and what separates the winners from the losers is confidence.

According to the dictionary confidence ‘is a feeling of emotional security resulting from faith in oneself. It is a firm belief in one’s powers, abilities, or capacities: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities’

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face”-Eleanor Roosevelt.

Confidence is something that one develops all through life. The more you know yourself and the world around you, the less fearful you become. When you have foreknowledge you are hardly ever caught by surprise, thus you remain calm.

Fear is the other four-letter curse word that dooms people to living in a mental prison. If you do not put negative believes in perspective you will go through life wearing a filter that prevents you from being who you really are and getting the things that make you happy.

In high school I was never part of the inside circle. Today most of them are losers living back in their hay day. I went out with one guy who still thinks he’s the prom king, he never made it to college or as a pro athlete, and he barely holds a job and has kids out of wedlock? So why was I still stuck on being his prom queen?

So what if they didn’t want to be my best friend. I’ve had enough successes in my life to realize that I have more to offer than anyone ever imagine. 

 

People with substance don’t specialize in making others feel bad. The next time someone acts like a total bitch let him or her know that hostility is substitute for fear. Give yourself the life that will make you proud of being you. Once you do that no one else can take your joy away or affect the way you feel.

Make a list of your best attributes and what you love about you. Know your attributes, and assure yourself of who you are. Once you become aware of who you are, you can start working on changing the aspects of your self that you don’t like -that’s the source of your insecurities.

 

TIPS!

  1. Know what you offer and what you look for in a mate, once you’re aware of the type of people that you can be your best with, you will be less likely to approach people who will reject you.
  2. Ask your closest friends (not your date) what attributes they like about you.
  3. Find your passion, the confidence/ego booster you get by doing what you love or what you’re good at increases your overall confidence and self esteem. Women especially love accomplishments because it indicates being good at something.
  4. Remember there are others out there who share your vision, morals and lifestyle, be around people who appreciate who you are. At any time in life, there are others who are looking for someone exactly like you. Don’t go to places that deflate who you are.
  5. If there is something about you that you don’t accept, you will be fearful and insecure until you change it
  6. If you still can’t get over your fear dating and relationships, then you need a professional therapist to help you work through your self-esteem issues.

 

Many people watch a parade of potential mates pass them by because they don’t know how to identify attraction cues. These are vital automatic primal gestures that men and women exhibit in the presence of someone that they are interested in- signals that cannot be faked or otherwise duplicated. See the laws of attraction for how to attract only positives into your life.

We can learn so much from telemarketers, they never take rejection personally. When they call you, you hang up on them in the middle of the sentence, and they still don’t take it personally, they don’t attach themselves to the outcome, they call you back “ Hi there, I just want to…

They don’t stop at the 2nd hang up, they call the next person on the list with the same level of enthusiasm. This is because they know you might have interrupted you, caught you on a bad day, or you might have had bad coffee that morning.

Bottom line? It’s a numbers game, so don’t hate the players; hate the game enough to increase your chances of winning.

By ToNighter

 

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There’s no denying that online dating is the way to go when looking for a new mate in the modern world. There are thousands of sites with hundreds of niches that most of us can use to find the best matches in an efficient manner and time frame.  Since you’re not meeting face to face, your online profile becomes your calling card. It’s the first impression any guy who is checking you out will judge you by so it needs to say everything you want it to say about you.

African celebs online dating

Unless you’re just having fun, you should use your profile to weed out the rift raft so that you’re getting mostly quality prospects contacting you. Here are 5 ways you can use your online profile to attract the right guy.

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1. Choose The Right Dating Service

As mentioned above, there are hundreds if not thousands of online-dating services vying for your attention and dollars ranging from top-tier types like E-Harmony and Chemistry to the AdultFinders and OkCupid. It is the first thing you should consider before venturing into the world of online dating.

Understand that simply based on pricing, you will find a different quality of men. It’s not to say that the less expensive sites won’t have great catches, but you’ll certainly have to throw a lot more fish back to find the better ones. You get what you pay for, even in love. The top tier sites tend to be better monitored and have better search algorithms. The cheaper low tiered ones tend to be filled with predators and fake profiles so you should spring for the best you can get. If you fit into neat niches such as JDate for Jewish dating and ChristianMingle for Christians, you can narrow the field even more, getting you closer to your Mr. Right.

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2. Choose An Appropriate Username

What’s in a name? Everything. Gumdrop211, Sexkitt’n or LusciousLipsXXX are great attention grabbing user names, but they also sound like great names for strippers and porn stars. What does your Username say about you? When choosing a username, opt for something creative that can double as a description for your interests. For example, AdvnturSeekr101, FoodieCutie, Fool4Luv. Keep the over the top sexual names for your bedroom exploits.

3. Post Proper Pics

Posting bikini shots may get you plenty of attention, but if you’re looking for a serious potential mate, your approach will have to be different. Pictures can say a thousand words and you want those words to be the right ones. Consider what your photos say about you. Shots that reveal too much skin can paint a picture of a party girl who is looking for a good time.

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Opt for a head-and-shoulders shot of yourself as your first photo. Include up to 5 or 6 other photos. If fitness is a big deal for you and you’d like to show off your awesome body, there are tasteful ways to do it. Try a hot dress, which says that you’re a social butterfly or even work out gear which says you’re a health nut. You want to leave some things to the imagination. In turn, they won’t assume you’re an easy roll in the hay.

4. Treat your profile description like a Resume

If you think of dating like trying to land a dream job, then you should take it just as seriously and explain how great of a candidate you are. It doesn’t mean you should get all serious and lose all your sense of humor, but you should use that space to express your personality. If you’re a serious type, your writing should convey that. Are you funny and happy go-lucky? Use language that will get that point across. Be as descriptive about your interests. Keep it concise and give just enough to have them wanting more by messaging you.

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5. Say What You Want

In the process of talking about yourself you can forget the most important thing. Letting seekers know exactly what you’re looking for. ‘A nice guy’ isn’t good enough. You should be just as descriptive about your desire for what you want in a potential partner. Specific interests, age range, religious affiliations are great things to be specific about. You can say what you ‘don’t’ want, but try not to be crass. Use words like MUST BE, to convey those things you’re absolutely serious about.

African celebs sad woman
How many time your heart has been broken

The world of online dating can be a frustrating and even scary experience. Making sure you show your best side will help you cut through the clutter. Take it seriously and follow your instincts.

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The right guy will find you, if you present yourself as the right girl for him, plain and simple.

Happy Dating!

Source: Tonighter/Neghie Thervil

Relationship Expert and Author

Why do they have such a hard time dating and in relationships? And how can you avoid the curse?

Powerful, smart, respected women – successful women, working hard, at the top of their class, and making strong impressions in the boardroom – yet, why is it so difficult for them to find a mate and relate? This is the unfortunate curse of the successful woman.

Her burden, like her briefcase, is carried everywhere she goes, setting off alarm-bells with every man she meets. Although, arguably, the truth of this matter is that the curse applies more readily to the insecurities of males than anything else. African celebs - Successful Woman Successful women were never targeted by a wicked witch, who muttered incantations over her diabolical cauldron; no.

And it’s unlikely that a successful woman ever entered the Pharaoh’s tomb, stole a precious relic, and thus unleashed an ancient curse against all single women making a decent living.

These things never happened, but still the successful woman seems cursed with the stigma of making more money than most of the men she dates, being in a higher position of authority than many of the men she works with, and possibly even being more aggressive on the dating-circuit than any of the single guys she chases.

Ultimately, this spells a great threat to the male ego, and leads to an ironic situation – the successful woman is terribly unsuccessful at dating and relationships.

There’s the rub. So, what can be done to avoid, or even break forever, this curse of the successful woman? In the past, some women in the corporate world have tried to play down their successes while dining with dates – you could say that they make a tactical decision to ‘dumb’ themselves down, in the hopes of romantic success.

AFRICAN CELEBS

However, certainly a majority of guys wouldn’t be fooled by a few giggles and some hair-tossing, would they? Yes, sadly, they would, as this is the reality they might like to believe.

But, you have to ask yourself: is that a path that the successful single lady truly deserves? Of course it isn’t – because if you’re not acting like yourself then you’re not really in a genuine relationship with your significant other.

Therefore, how can a successful woman be herself, be confident, and – all the while – make her date feel comfortable with her level of success? Well, the trick to this is to first meet a stable guy who isn’t insecure about himself.

Does he feel he has worth? Is he happy in his chosen profession and his station in life? Because who really wants to date someone who is unhappy with who they are or their present situation, yet isn’t doing a thing to change it? And, most importantly, who wants to date someone who can’t handle dating a successful person?

It may seem like a curse, though one definitely wouldn’t want to be caught in a long-term relationship with a person that insecure – you’re better off without them! So, find yourself a real man who can accept you for who you are, and can share and celebrate your successes with you.

african celebs relationships

According to research published recently in Psychology Today, it might soon be a lot easier to find a man who doesn’t perceive your success as a threat to his masculinity.

“We’re experiencing a historic change in the things people want out of marriage, the reasons they enter into it and stay in it,” said historian Stephanie Coontz of Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington.

Coontz told Psychology Today that apparently men in their 20s and 30s embarking on first marriages are for the most part relieved to no longer be the sole breadwinner and decision-maker.

“These men are truly redefining masculinity,” remarked Terrence Real, a psychologist and author of ‘How Can I Get Through to You?

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Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women.’ Furthermore, as Henry Kissinger once famously noted, power can be the ultimate aphrodisiac, which might explain why some guys now consider pursuing powerful women.

After all, of successful women – earning upwards of $100,000 a year – who eventually got married, one in three married a husband who is earning less money than they are.Additionally, in a Match.com poll, 48 percent of men (and an equal percentage of women) report dating partners who draw the same income they do, and 20 percent of men report dating women who earn more.

In the same poll, out of the women who were asked whether they believe that men are intimidated by women with high-powered careers, 74 percent said yes.

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While 62 percent of the men who were surveyed admitted that they would not actually be reluctant to date and marry a career woman. So, all things considered, there is hope that in the near future, the curse of the successful woman might become a thing of the past. Until then, be yourself.

AFRICAN CELEBS

Are you a successful women? can you relate to you this story?

 

By Tonighter 

Hair Ranges From Thin And Fine To Thick…Celebrity hairstyles can be a great source of ideas for people who want to know how to update their look. Photographs of celebrities show trendy, makeup and cool hairstyles that a person can have a hairstylist copy. 

 

There are so many face shapes in this world… oval, round, oblong, hearttriangularsquare and diamond.

Do you know your face shape and the best Hair And Makeup for you?

Watch The Video Below For The Best Hair And Makeup Ideas… 

Celebrity hairstyles can be a great source of ideas for people who want to know how to update their look. Photographs of celebrities show trendy, cool hairstyles that a person can have a hairstylist copy. There are some factors to consider when choosing cool hairstyles from celebrities.

Hairstyles and makeup do not look the same on everyone. Hair ranges from thin and fine to thick. Not all hair types can easily or successfully be styled the same way. A good hairstylist may be able to explain whether or not the person’s hair type is suitable for the celebrity hairstyle that they want.

Watch The Video Below For The Best Hair And Makeup Trends To Try Now… Some hairstyles that look amazing on a celebrity can look awful on a person with a face that is a different shape than the celebrity’s face. When choosing a celebrity hairstyle to try, the person should compare the shape of their face with that of the celebrity.

If a person receives a haircut that is perfectly executed but an unflattering style for their face shape, the results will look bad even though the haircut itself was well done. So, the face shape is the first thing to determine when looking for a cool hairstyle. The typical face shapes include oval, round, square, heart, oblong, diamond, and triangular…. By Tonighter

An oval-shaped face can be flattered by almost any hairstyle though many prefer to have long layers. An example of a celebrity with an oval face who has long hair cut in long layers is Jennifer Aniston, Charlize Theron, Kelly Rowland, Beyoncé Knowles, Ghanaian actress Yvonne Nelson….  Hairstyles that tend to be less flattering for an oval face shape are those that cover parts of the face.

Browsing through all these cool hairstyles of celebrities with the same face shape as you will help you select a hairstyle that is more likely to look as good on you as it does on the celebrity than if the shape of the face is not a match. Getting a celebrity hairstyle that compliments the shape of your face is a great way to update your look.

Some of the highly praised afro hair products includes: Shea butter (we love using the one from Ghana) Mizani 25 Miracle Milk Olive oil products Aveda Be Curly Coconut oil Lush Sunny Day Mahogany Naturals T444Z Blue magic Coconut oil Cantu products Juiced ginger or ginger root oil….

Some of the highly praised  hair products includes:

  • Shea butter (we love using the one from Ghana)
  • Mizani 25 Miracle Milk
  • Olive oil products
  • Aveda Be Curly
  • Coconut oil
  • Lush Sunny Day
  • Mahogany Naturals
  • T444Z
  • Blue magic Coconut oil
  • Cantu products
  • Juiced ginger or ginger root oil….

 

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