Getting Past the Breakup Blues
Relationships don’t always work out. It doesn’t matter, if you are fifteen or fifty, hurt and pain are real. If you are going through the trauma of a recent breakup understand, that you will get through it. It sucks at the beginning, but a hurt heart can, and will heal. With loss, one has to go through all stages of grief and loss before recovery takes place. Denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, may not be experienced in any specific order. It may take a month, or even a year to regain emotional stability. However, keep in mind that love and light will return. Life is full of lessons, take heed. In time, if you choose you may be able to salvage a friendship from the relationship. But for now, understand the process that you are embarking on.
- Denial – You refuse to acknowledge the breakup. Rationalizing, begging to work things out, and acting
like the break-up has not happened, may all occur at this stage.
- Anger – Name calling, shot taking, and rage can happen at during this time. You may experience feelings of hate in order to keep moving. While anger is justifiable, driving it to hate is not a place to park in and stay too, long.
- Bargaining – Praying to your higher power for your former love to see the light and take you back may seem rational. Remember that you didn’t ask for the relationship to end. Ask instead, that peace be restored to your world . Truth be told, do you really want to be with someone who has made it clear that they don’t value your love? Probably not.
- Depression – The lows of depression can take hold when going through a break-up. This is where negative behaviors can surface. Drinking, drugging, and sexing are sometime used to alleviate feelings of being unwanted. Take steps to avoid the residual fallout. Find a trusted confidant to share your feelings and what you are going thorough. Depression, can be hard one to get through, finding positive ways of practicing self-love and while showing yourself kindness and compassion will all be needed to work through this stage.
- Acceptance – Congratulations, you’re almost there. Acceptance is the space where you begin to breathe again. Faint at first, you grow stronger and more like your old self. This is cause for celebration of your best self. Your beauty, creativity, and talents are realigning as you make strides to re-connect with the world. Don’t fear, move forward knowing that you are worthy of love with someone willing to return it full fold. The road has been rough but you’re on to attracting goodness.
A break-up can be traumatic there is no way around that if you didn’t want the split. Understanding your value, and working to heal are the best things you can do for yourself. You will get past the trauma and love again. You can’t will the hurt away, but it can be managed. Surrounding yourself with beauty and taking time for self-reflection are needed, soothing medicines. Baby, you are so worth the effort!